I’ve recently learned of an underground organization that might be right for me; it’s the Unitarian Jihad. Here’s the first paragraph of their manifesto:
Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.
Now that’s my kind of Jihad! It’s clear that, in order to join this organization, I will need a nom de guerre? plume? pax?… whatever, I just need a nom. Sadly, ‘Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace’ and ‘Sister Hand Grenade of Love’ have already been taken. My dear husband has suggested ‘Sister Clusterbomb of Tranquility’, but I don’t think that’s really ‘me’. Any suggestions?
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